Quarter one... done!

It's been much longer than I expected since my last post. That is common for me though. Sometimes I feel the desire to write everyday and other times it takes awhile to get back to it. Actually, just as I'm writing this I am realizing that is how I am with all the areas of my life... including this journey I've set out on during this year.

This has not been an easy 4 months for me. I set off with such high expectations of where I would be at this point. And to be perfectly honest, because I haven't accomplished all that I wanted to at this point, I have had some very stressful days. I am not a stressful type person by nature. However, my usual coping mechanism to not stress is avoidance. I am very good at avoiding what I do not want, and therefore, don't usually take on much stress! It works :))

In this bigger, more public declaration of my New Year's resolutions though, I really haven't been able to avoid as much as I have really wanted to. Of course, while it has been perfectly within my right to quit or give up at any point, I was determined to stay on track. For me, moving forward with my intention of becoming "a better me" continues to be the inspiration to keep going this year. It is important for me to be happy and to feel good about myself. So, despite the couple of things that are going to spill into the second quarter of this year, I am still very proud of myself and what I have been able to accomplish.

Quickly, the things that didn't get done... I didn't lose the weight I wanted. As I mentioned, I started off strong, but when the more intense training for the half marathon began, I hadn't gotten enough of my good eating habits down. I could easily eat lighter and healthier, but then I didn't have enough energy to train. So, instead of working on learning how to eat better while training, I just let it go. I ate whatever I wanted, and so even with the training, did not lose any weight. Yet!

I also did not raise all of the money I committed to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society by the deadline. I did raise $1,205, which is 50% of the $2,400 I need to raise, but will still need to either raise more or pay the difference myself. Also, as a result, TNT is not allowing me to run as part of their team. This was very upsetting, but at the same time I realized how much I hold myself back from always being my best. I'm an Empowerment Coach so I know that it was totally within my own power to meet that goal. The economy or my getting laid off or any other reason I could come up with is really no excuse. I simply didn't enjoy fundraising or asking people for money. And because I didn't go full out, where I am now with that is the consequence.

Ok, enough about that!

The greatest news is that I will still be running the half marathon. I always knew that if I didn't meet my goal of raising all of the money in time, I would simply pay the $60 race fee and run it on my own. And so, that is what I will be doing! I will be there, with the kids... in different t-shirts, but in the end no problem at all. Also, it's no small thing that I was able to raise $1,205 to help find a cure for cancer! That is definitely a glass half full opportunity if there ever was one. Wonderful people donated on my behalf, including anonymous donors (three donated $100 and one $50!!) I definitely felt the love and from some I don't even know who they were!

Regarding my training, the more significant miles I have completed to date was a one 9 mile outing a few weeks ago and finally a 12 mile walk/run this past Saturday. The 12 miles was a big deal for me. While I'm not a full out runner, I was so proud when I was able to go further than I ever have in my life. I never imagined myself even wanting to do such a thing, much less actually doing it!

So this coming Sunday is the big day. I am very much looking forward to the experience and feeling the energy of the day. It's bittersweet for sure as it won't exactly be as I had imagined. But who knows? It may be far better than I even could imagine! I am definitely happy, will be happier on Sunday, and will be even sooo much happier on Monday as I begin the second leg of my journey for this year. I have ideas for my next goals, but I will wait until Monday or so to clarify them for myself. And as usual, I am sure I will be sharing.

More to come in May! Yay!!

Just keep going...

Each day, I keep telling myself to just keep going. No matter what I do, just do something!

Since my last post, I haven't done a lot of training. I went out dancing on Friday night, so I'm thinking I could count that as a workout. After all, I was sweating like crazy! Then on Saturday, I went to my first kettlebell class in three weeks. I hadn't gone for last two weeks nor worked out at home, so I knew that if I didn't get myself back to class, I might be giving up on it soon. And I was already feeling bummed because I could tell my arm muscles were beginning to lose their definition. Ugh! I LOVE having muscles! So, I got myself to class. At the request of my teacher/sister, I was in an easy class again. She acknowledged I could do more, but since she asked me to attend that class time, I did. The class went ok, but it was not much of a challenge for me. Afterwards however, she asked me to stay for another 15 minutes with another student in order to get more of a workout in. So I did. Oh man, was that a workout! I ended up staying another half hour, which is another whole class. I had a heavier weight and could already feel that my lower back was going to be killing me very soon. The workout was great, but I was pretty much dead for the rest of the day!

Sunday I worked on my flyers for my planned "YOGA in the PARK" fundraising events, but did no training. Still recovering from my aching back, I decided to take it easy on the physical, but spend time emailing and promoting my fundraising. Just keep going, just do something!

Then on Monday, I re-committed to Team in Training. That was required for me to go on with them. This also means that if I do not raise all the money I have committed to by mid-April, I am on the line for the remaining amount not raised. I thought a lot about that this past weekend, and although a big part of me just wanted to quit, I ultimately decided to re-commit. It is a big, scary, crazy thing I've done. However, my intention is to become a better me this year. And if I get through this obstacle of raising this large amount of money, I believe it will personally pay off with other positive life consequences as well. This is why I decided to stick with my plan.

Tuesday, I knew I needed to get back to training. I hadn't done a walk/run for several days and I was feeling the mental effects of that--kind of like guilt! The kids were busy so I decided to go on my own. I headed out to Campbell Park for a walk/run by myself. The main trail loop there is about 2.25 miles. Although I could go on a longer trail route, since I was alone, I decided to just do the loop three times and that would be about 6.75 miles. But as I started, I could immediately tell I've been taking too many days off between training. I got very tired very fast. And so, when my friend called during my third mile, it was an easy decision to cut my training short and meet her for an informal St. Patricks Day celebration :) I did first, however, push myself through to get 4 miles in before I left. Oh well, 4 miles is better than none!

Today, Wednesday, I continue to feel the pressure of fundraising. But I'm determined to just keep going, just do something. I've been reaching out to people on a personal level and asking them to help. I still hate it for sure, and today found myself wishing I just had an extra $2,400 so I could donate it all myself and be done with it! As I said though, this is a bigger deal for me personally, maybe even more so than I know. So I keep myself inspired with that thought. Oh, and raised another $150 today!

Just keep going, Donna, just do something...

Walking off the fundraising stress

I am going to be honest here... fundraising is not fun for me.

Whenever I take on a life project for myself, I am always amazed at how it brings up other areas of my life that I had no intention of working on. For instance, last year I decided to work on anything but my personal relationships. I started blogging (in my other blog) and was writing about all sorts of things that were making me happy, as way to express gratitude. But my relationships started going crazy and ultimately caused me to face some things I had not wanted to face prior to then. That was unexpected! Oh well, I moved on just fine.

So, this time I should have known better as I went into the New Year with a whole new set of priorities. First, it was my weight loss. Then it progressed into the training for a half marathon, which included becoming a member of Team in Training. That required fundraising, but I wasn't worried because I worked for a company in which I felt confident the owner would contribute in a significant way. If anything, I was more concerned with my ability to be able to run the 13.1 miles. It would not be until after the half marathon would I think about the other resolutions I had on my list.

Then I got laid off from my job. This is not a tragedy, by any means. But it is a distraction, big time! I am having to focus my time on deciding what to do. Should I go back to another similar job, or should I just completely concentrate on my coaching career? That will take much more work on my part, and I just didn't expect to be thinking about that right now. The other result of losing the job is that I no longer have a relationship with the owner of the company I worked for, which means I now need to raise all the money myself. And if I don't raise the money by the deadline, in about a month from now, I have to commit to paying the difference of the required $2,400 myself! Well, that would be as bad if I wasn't first trying to figure out where my main income will be coming from in the near future! Uhhhhhh.

So, this is my dilemma and it means that I will either need to drop out of Team in Training (not the marathon, because I can still run it by paying the fee of $55) or figure out how to raise the money in a month.

Well, this is the deal, and the reason I said that when I take on a life project, other stuff comes up for me... I HATE asking people for help! I am a giver, not a receiver. Yeah, that's a problem when I have to ask people to give me money (even a donation for a good cause). It's an issue that goes way back for me, and this post would be too long if I explained where all that came from. Doesn't matter. Basically, the bottom line is that it is just not a fun thing for me to try and overcome.

But I must--not so much for the Leukemia & Society Team in Training or even for Dana and David, who I feel I would be letting down too--but for me!

I don't stress over many things in life, but this is one thing much on my mind at the moment--even more so than the job situation.

As a result, I really haven't felt like training this week. I also wasn't able to attend the TNT training tonight because I didn't send in my re-commitment paperwork. And so, my stress was compounded by also feeling bad. But, I did force myself out of the house and onto the treadmill at the gym, for the first time since Saturday's run. I really needed that. However, because of my mood I was only able to run about 2 miles, but stayed on that treadmill for a total of 6 miles. It was boring as hell, because it took a very long time (1hr and 45min) to get all those miles in at the pace I was walking . But I knew I had to keep going. As I neared the end of the miles, I no longer felt any stress. Much better!

Now, the plan is to spend the next few days finding that within which will help me feel better about this whole fundraising thing. Weeeee will see!

Finally, 6 miles!

Although I have no idea whether or not anyone even reads this blog (it's mostly for me to keep on track anyway), I was starting to get embarrassed about making so many excuses for not getting to my next goal of a consistent 6 mile training. Only once have I only gotten that far, but that was a few weeks ago. Now, I'm half way through my training (2 of 4 months) and feel I should be nearly half way through being able to run a the 13.1 miles needed for the half marathon.

Well, on Thursday I had another excuse for not going to TNT training. Dana didn't want to go if it was raining. I don't blame her because it's bad enough that we sometimes run in the cold--usually Saturday mornings. Rain on top of being cold is just miserable. And why should we do that when we have a nice gym to work out at instead? :) Really, it was an excuse not to go out to the track on Thursday because it didn't even rain and David went without us and had a great time! Dana and I did go to the gym though. I would really have been mad at myself if I didn't do that at least.

Weekday's at the gym around 6-7pm is not really ideal, however. I have my favorite type of treadmill, the one with the built in fan! At that time of the evening however, I get what I get. And I didn't get the one with the fan. So, I ran/walked my 4 miles and was done. I was too hot and didn't really have enough motivation to do more than that. Oh well.

Friday was a pretty busy day for me, so no training then :(

Saturday though, was our early morning TNT training run. Although I was dead tired and didn't want to wake up to go, it was nice that Dana and David offered to pick me up this time and take me with them. We went to the Coyote Creek Trail (another new place for me). This time I was determined to get my 6 miles in. Our choices were 6-10 miles anyway, so if we didn't do the 6 miles, I feel we'd really be feeling behind now. Also, Dana got a cool new watch to time our intervals. She set it for 4:30 minute run/2 minute walks. I felt good that that would keep us on track. (Superstar David would do the whole 10 mile run.)

Dana and I did pretty well. We walked more than we had planned on the last two miles. But I was very happy that when we were done, we again had the attitude that we could have done more. Although I know that is how it works when one practices/trains, it still amazes me at what I am able to do these days!

Well, my goal is to continue doing 6 mile runs this week. My preference has finally changed from training on the treadmill to running on the trails, but it's harder during the week to get out to the trails. We'll see.

In the meantime, I really need to do more fundraising. I have a lot of pressure right now as most people have already raised half of the funds needed. Basically, I only have a month to do almost all my fundraising. I admit, this is not at all my favorite part. I struggle a lot when it comes to asking people for money. Even when people offer their help, I don't always take them up on it. Uhhhh. The pressure is on and I really need to get on it. Maybe my posts over then next week or so need to be dedicated to my progress on fundraising. Who knew that running would be easier than asking people for help???? Ok, well I'm taking today (Sunday) off from training, but promise myself to do some fundraising. Wish me luck!

Inclines and moving forward

Let's see... the last I wrote, I was off to Vacaville with the kids to visit our uncle. We got there late Friday evening and didn't really discuss our running plan for the morning. So I think we all had different expectations as to what we would end up doing in the morning.

It ended up being a lazy morning. We didn't get up too early, but since it was cool, it was still good running weather. So we had some coffee our uncle had made and headed out for a run. Mistake #1... we ate nothing before we left!

We did our usual stretching and took off down the trail near my uncle's house. Since we had no way of knowing how far we would be running, I suggested that as long as we went out for a half hour and turned around for another half hour back, we would likely get in at least 4 miles. I had hoped to be up to 6 miles by now, but since we hadn't eaten, I was ok with just doing 4.

However, in addition to not having the energy because we hadn't eaten, we had also not really planned for what the trail would be like. I know the area where my uncle lives is somewhat hilly (is that a word?), but since I usually drive the area, not walk or run it, I didn't realize the difficulty on our attempt to run the 4 miles. (We've pretty much been running on flat surfaces.) While the incline of the hills was not really that extreme, after a mile or so, it was definitely noticeable. Dana and I became tired much faster than usual. (David can pretty much do anything :)) So, because we hadn't eaten either, Dana and I decided to walk the distance instead of pushing ourselves to run it. However, even from walking, my calves ended up feeling very tight for the rest of the day. I realized that my training going forward will need to include inclines. After all, the real half marathon will definitely have hills. Uh oh!

Anyway, when we got back, we all took our showers and our uncle took us out for a big breakfast! Yeah!

Since Saturday, I hadn't done any running until this evening (Wednesday). I have been quite distracted with other areas of my life. I'm looking for a new job, my sleeping hours are completely crazy, and raising the money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society is starting to become a high priority. I'm ok because I have a very optimistic outlook, but I must admit this is a fairly distracting time for me.

Running definitely helps keep me in a positive mood though, so when I'm not feeling so good, training is actually the answer!

Tonight, my schedule ended up being a little tight, but since it had been many days since I last ran, I made sure to get to the gym to get in 4 miles. I'm still not at 6 miles, but I am still holding onto that goal for the very near future. After all, I'm half way through my training, with only 2 months to go!!

Tomorrow is the TNT Thursday training. I haven't been to those trainings in a couple of weeks, so I am looking forward to getting back to the coaching. Later...

A walk with my sister

My plans changed from the moment I woke up today. My sister Chrissy called to ask if she could come over later. Since I thought I had other stuff to do today, I told her it would be fine for her to come over sooner than later. By the time she got to my place, my other plans fell through. So we just hung out and chatted. However, our chatting (ok, mine) had soon begun to sound like complaining. We definitely didn't want to go there, so Chrissy suggested we go for a walk. She wanted me to feel better. She's very caring like that. And she's very happy when the sun is out, so she was extra excited the day was so nice. Although I had planned on running later, I agreed to go with her. I needed to change the subject of converstaion anyway, as well as get some sun and exercise in.

Well, I live near the end (or the beginning, I suppose) of the Los Gatos Creek Trail, so we decided to do that walk rather than driving somewhere to walk. (I don't know why I always need to drive somewhere to exercise!)

Anyway, we walked and talked and walked and talked. Suddenly, it seemed we were in Campbell. I don't live far from Campbell, but I never walk there! Wow, how quickly the time had passed. Finally, my sister said she needed to be getting back to do something at home, so as we turned around I mentioned how I had really wanted to know how far we had walked. Any other time in my life I wouldn't have cared, but with my training and my blogging, I felt it important to know!!

I saw a mile marker just about at the point we turned around, so on the way back, I kept notice of the other markers. I stopped seeing the markers towards the end, but I estimate that it was a four to five mile round trip.

Although I intended to go running later today, walking with my cheerful sister was definitely good for my soul. When I got home, I felt lovely again. No more complaints from me.

Dana and David have now invited me to go with them to visit my Uncle Alvin up in Vacaville. We'll stay the night and come home later tomorrow. Since our TNT training was an OYO (on your own) run tomorrow anyway, it seems our own run will be on the trails in Vacaville. That's cool!

Until tomorrow...

4 days off, 4 miles on

I feel a little bad that my last post was titled, Dedication, because after that I hadn't done any training or working out for 4 days! The first couple of days I needed to take off. I knew that my "dedication" was not necessarily that good for my health. I wasn't feeling well on that last day I ran and worked out, and pushing myself only made me feel worse afterwards. So, I decided to just take it easy and not get back to training right away. Then over the last two days, I just didn't feel as motivated. I was confident my motivation would come back, so I decided to just ease up on the pressure I had been putting upon myself.

Today would be TNT training day anyway. I knew I would be up for it and had actually looked forward to getting back into my training. I have been eating well, primarily only eating my own cooked food (my cooking kind of sucks, but it is much healthier), and so I felt as though I'd have enough energy for tonight given my better eating as well as the extended rest I had.

A couple hours before our training though, Dana called to say that with her very heavy load of homework she would not be able to go to our training tonight. She instead just wanted to go out to Campbell Park for a quick run and told me that David would be going with her as well. So, that gave me the option of going with them or going later to the TNT training on my own. In the end, it didn't really matter to me whether I went to the TNT training as long as I got my running in--that was most important to me tonight. Also, my preference was to stay with "my team"!

So we met at Campbell Park to do our run. David brought his watch and said he would be timing our run/walk at 4min run/2min walk intervals. That was fine with me as long as we went a distance of at least 4 miles. So, off we went... The running was surprisingly easy for me, and although I think David was actually making us run 5 or 6 minutes at a time, I was having a very easy time. Even on the two miles back (we run 2 miles out, 2 miles back), when I usually tend to slow down, I had no problem keeping up my pace at all. In fact, it all seemed like a piece of cake! Yay!

When I came home, I was feeling good. Before I showered though, I decided I should also get a kettlebell workout in, since I hadn't practiced any all week. So I did about 20 minutes of kettlebell swings as well.

Tonight I am feeling really great. In the end, I don't really feel guilty for taking so many days off. I am no longer sick and doing pretty well in my running. In fact, I plan to be doing 6 miles minimum beginning tomorrow. I am also eating well and feeling much lighter. Even though I haven't weighed myself lately, I felt really happy earlier today when I only had to take a minor inhale as I put on my skinny jeans :)) I'm on track, feeling good, and looking forward to continuing on in this journey...

Dedication

Whenever I am not working during the day, my natural body clock adjusts my sleeping hours quite quickly. Since I am not working a day job at the moment, I have already started with the late night owl hours and the sleeping in late in the morning. I just cannot seem to help it!

Yesterday, I got up pretty late--about 11am I think. As I mentioned in my last post, although I was starting to get a cold, I did my run then went out for the evening. When I got home, I was feeling ok, but as I got ready for bed I began getting more and more congested. I was having a very hard time falling asleep, first off because I woke up so late that morning and secondly, because I couldn't breathe very well at all. I knew I needed to get up early for today's TNT training, so I finally took some Nyquil at 3am so I could to sleep. (I'm so stubborn when it comes to taking medicine!)

The Nyquil seemed to work instantly. I was finally fast asleep. However, the alarm would be going off at 6am and I already wasn't looking forward to that!

At 6am, I was sooooo tired. I hate to admit it, but I was hoping that I felt too sick to go run. But I wasn't feeling too sick, just tired. So as painfully as it was with only 3 hours sleep, I got myself up. Our run was at Lake Almaden Park. I had never been there so as we arrived I was pleasantly surprised and also happy it wasn't freezing as it had been on some of our Saturday morning runs. Today's option for running was 2-8 miles (not 2-7 as I had mentioned before). I don't really understand how we had a 2 mile option as they were timing us on how long it took us to get to the 2 mile marker. I mean, once we got there, we'd have to turn around for another 2 miles! Therefore, I think the minimum must have been 4 miles. That was ok with me though. I am trying not to do less than 4 miles as of now anyway.

David took off for the longer run, as usual. Dana and I stayed together to do the 4 miles. The first 2 miles were fairly easy for us. We got there in 27 min 49 sec. That's not exactly fast, I know, but I didn't mind. I don't run for speed, rather for consistency. I could have made it in less time, but I was mindful that I do have a cold after all (even though I don't want to admit it!)

As Dana and I turned around for the 2 miles back, she mentioned that we could have gone one more mile. I agreed, we could have. It wasn't hard to do the miles we did at all. But while we thought about it, we didn't turn back around. Instead, we just finished off our 4 miles by going back and waiting for Superstar David, who ended up doing all 8 miles.

Next week, given that I am well, I have decided I will do 6 miles.

When I came home from running, I knew I had an hour before kettlebell class. By then, I really wasn't feeling well, but I didn't want to miss class. However, even though I didn't want to miss, I was looking forward to it being over so I'd have time for a nap before a dinner date with my friend. Well, of all days, my sister emailed to ask if I could go to the later class because some of her other students had called in sick. (She likes to have balanced sized classes and I think it's easier to move me around than her other students.) I didn't really want to go to a later class, because I wanted the time for a good nap when I got back home. Also, it seemed the longer I rested before class, the more I felt the need to stay home. I didn't stay home though. I made it to class. My sister instantly noted how tired I looked, but once I was there, I knew it was only a half hour until I would be done with my training for the day! Whew!!

Today was big in regards to my dedication. While I just really wanted to stay home, I knew that I could push through and keep to my goals for the day. And when I was done, I got in a short nap, had a great time out at dinner, and now finally home laying on my couch with no obligations for the next day or so! I'm proud and hopefully feeling much healthier very soon :)

Staying healthy for my 4 miles

I have skipped two days of working out this week. I had planned on missing Wednesday as I hadn't had a day off for awhile (Instead I went to the movies with Jenny. Fun!) However, I hadn't planned on missing Thursday, although I knew I would miss the TNT training. I host a Women's Empowerment Group every other Thursday and didn't want to cancel it this week. Although the Thursday trainings are my favorite, I'm good about training on my own, so I knew I could just go to the gym later in the evening instead.

However, as I prepared for my Empowerment Group, I started feeling an itchy throat. Soon thereafter I began getting a runny nose. I didn't feel bad, but was feeling tired. As the evening went on, I could tell that the beginnings of a cold were starting to sneak up on me. I am rarely sick, and so when I do feel the symptoms of an illness coming on, I'd have to say that I am very good about willing it away. But I know my training requires energy and I didn't want to push myself, then really get sick. So I skipped going to the gym on Thursday as well. (Yes, I had tinges of guilt!)

Tonight (Friday) I have plans to go to a concert, but I was determined to get my running in. Signs of a cold are still lingering, and although I'm sure running is not the best while having a cold, I decided to get to the gym anyway. I was a bit worried my runny nose would be a problem, but it wasn't. In fact, running the 4 miles was much easier than it's been for me lately. Granted, I hadn't done anything in the day beforehand, but I had two days of rest, a good dinner last night (chicken, brown rice and asparagus), and a good breakfast this morning (oatmeal). That was likely the trick! Anyway, now I can go out tonight guilt-free. My workout for the day is done!

Tomorrow we have an early morning TNT run. I think it's a 2-7 mile run, which is an increase from the 2-4 mile runs they've been offering before now. If I can get my 4 miles in I will be satisfied. Although my cold symptoms have subsided for the moment, I'm determined to stay healthy :) Later...

Mixing it up

As of last week, Tuesday's are now supposed to be our Team in Training Buddy Run day. This is an unofficial run with other teammates. We did go last week, however I didn't really enjoy being out in the dark to run on Los Gatos trail. In addition, it just seemed a lot of effort to drive there for only a two mile run and miss yoga class on top of that. After all, I am finding yoga to be very important for me in regards to my cross training.

So I told the kids I didn't want to go on the Buddy Run today. They weren't thrilled about going either, so we all skipped it, and may very well skip it going forward. It's ok though, we still workout on Tuesdays!

Today, I really looked forward to going to yoga class. I missed it yesterday due to my exhaustion after my 4 miles on the treadmill and tomorrow I will miss it again because I'm going to the movies with my friend. So, I definitely didn't want to miss yoga today. However, I also made a commitment to myself to run as well. And not only run, but run 4 miles! Uhhh, why did I make that my new goal? :) Anyway, after yesterday, I realized that I would not be able to do 4 miles on the treadmill and then have enough energy for yoga class. But from past weeks, I also know it would really be hard for me to do yoga class and then do 4 miles afterwards. So I came up with the bright idea (haha) to split up my running. I decided to do 2 miles before class and then 2 miles afterwards.

Believe me, after my first 2 miles and then yoga class I seriously considered not doing the last 2 miles after class. It was near the end of yoga class when I began talking myself out of doing anything more for the night. I kept thinking about how I would justify it in my blog post tonight--which also made me realize how important this blogging is for me as I'm on this journey!

Finally, as class was over and as I began putting on my shoes, I had decided that I had done enough for the day. I would skip doing my last 2 miles. Just then, David came over and asked, "Are you going to do your other 2 miles now?" Uhhh, yes??? That was it. That is all it took for me to stay on track. I was very tired, but I told myself that if I needed to I could walk the 2 miles. Just get them in!

So I got myself over to the treadmill and put in my last two miles. I did end up walking more than I ran, but in the end was very proud of myself for keeping to my goal.

Lastly, since Tuesday's were also our Weight Watcher's weigh-in day, I wanted to note what is going on with me regarding that. I have decided to stop going to WW for now. I still have a way to go in regards to my eating habits. While I am eating the right foods, I am not eating enough of what I need for energy. It's a challenge for me to do this as it just feels so much in conflict with trying to lose weight. I know, it doesn't work that way, but it's a block in my mind I need to get past. I also know that because it is such a challenge for me, I am procrastinating on learning what is best in regards to eating on a daily basis. Right now, my priority is to have enough energy to keep up with my runs. I know I will still lose weight in the meantime, but probably not as fast as I would have if I wasn't needing extra fuel for energy. (A nutritionist could help me, I know. But since I don't have one, I've decided this is best for me at the moment.) Losing weight is definitely a priority for me. I have lost some already. In fact, I feel pretty good. I'm just going to wait a bit before I concentrate on what the scale says. No worries :)

More time, so no excuses

Last Thursday I got laid off from my day job. While I admit to being surprised, I know how things work for me. Frankly, I was getting bored with the job. And since I always get what I want, of course the boring job goes away! While I still have my coaching, I now need to decide whether I want to ramp that up or look for another office/accounting job. As of now, I am not clear what I want, but my sudden increase in time is allowing me to come up with all kinds of ideas. So I am not worried at all.

As I have mentioned before, my new year resolutions also included goals regarding my career, my financial situation, as well as in my relationships. However, I purposely chose to fill this first quarter of 2009 working towards my physical goals. So, I shouldn't have been surprised when the first things I thought of when I discovered I would have more time was... oh, I can now workout during the day... and oh, I can now cook and eat better!

Honestly, I am not currently in the financial position to just workout and cook all day. I will need to fill my day again with some type of working. For today though, I am just going to enjoy the time I do have!

So, while I did spend some time today working on my resume and applying for some positions, I knew that I would still have time to get to the gym earlier than usual. I didn't end up going that early actually, but did get there with enough time to run 4 miles before yoga class. However, as Dana mentioned, maybe we shouldn't run next to each other on the treadmill. We talk too much and end up walking much more than we run! So, while I did go the 4 miles (my new self-imposed minimum) I have to admit I walked a good portion of it. In fact, the treadmill only stays on for one hour (and a two minute cool down), and since I was going so slow, I had to reset the treadmill and walk another 5 minutes to get my 4 miles in. Oh well, it's the distance I'm giving myself credit for tonight :)

After the treadmill, Dana and I sat for a half hour before yoga class was to start. We knew David had run much more than us and was probably taking a shower while we were hanging out. Dana and I were tired though and seemed to be waiting for the other to flake on yoga class so the other didn't have to go either. However, David is our inspiration and I didn't want to disappoint him if he intended on going to class. But as I thought, he ran much more than us and was visibly exhausted when he was done. In the end, he was ok with skipping class. So we were all outta there, ha!!

I did want to get a bit more of a workout in though, so when I got home I did another 20 minutes of kettlebell. I'm satisfied.

Lastly, I also took some time to cook myself some dinner. I rarely cook, so when I do, I am always so proud of myself! I made simple brown rice and pork chops (my zucchini in the fridge was already bad). It was much better than those Smart Ones or Lean Cuisine meals I practically live on. Soooo again, I intend to take advantage of this freed up time I have at the moment by getting my full workouts in and actually cooking better food for myself. No excuses!

4 miles today

To quickly follow up on my post yesterday, I am happy to have finally gotten my weekend running in today. I went to the gym, and in less than an hour, ran 4 miles on the treadmill.

I'm thinking I now need to start putting in a minimum of 4 miles each time I go running. I have 2 mile runs down, and have probably allowed myself to be on the lazy side by doing mainly 2 mile runs lately. So my goal for the next week or so is to run at least 4 miles each time.

Tomorrow, I'm planning to meet Dana during the day for another run. So, of course, my minimum should be 4 miles!

p.s. I'm also going out dancing tonight, so I think I should give myself additional workout credit for that : ) especially as I won't be drinking : (

Seriously, a gym holiday?!

Valentine's Day doesn't really move me one way or another. If I'm in a relationship, the day can be sweet. But if I'm not, it's just another day. I'm not one of those angry anti-Valentine's Day people. If it's not my year, it's not my year. I have had many good ones and I will again, so no worries.

But it is a workout day for me. The kids didn't call this morning for our run. I didn't call either, but I always get up if they call me. I think Dana was the late sleeper this morning. So I just went to kettlebell class at my usual 11:30 am time. Dana later called to say that they were planning on going to the gym in the evening, and that was fine with me, so I just planned to meet up with them later then.

Kettlebell class was good, although I wasn't exactly in high spirits. While we always learn something new--today was faster swings--I just went through the motions. What I've learned over the past week or so though is, that if I'm not in the best of moods, just workout anyway. The feeling afterwards is a huge reward! So, of course I felt much better when class was over today. I even bragged to my sister that I got my first blisters. For all the weeks I've been going, my hands really haven't been affected. Today though, I got one tiny blister, with the beginnings of two more on my right hand. It's kind of funny to be excited about a blister, but it made me feel more of an athlete or something, as crazy as that sounds!

After class, I went home and just layed around my house. I didn't have plans until later (gym with the kids) so I took a little nap, watched tv and ate here and there.

Then I got a date! Well, it's nothing grand. A guy friend of mine called to ask if I wanted to go with him to a comedy club tonight. Sure, why not? Suddenly though, my thoughts of working out overcame me. What would I do about running today? I don't just want to skip it, like I have been allowing myself to do lately. I want to stay on track. But now I also need to do some laundry before I go out. Suddenly, I didn't have all day now. So I washed a load of laundry, and as it dried I decided to go to the gym and get a couple of miles on the treadmill before I needed to come home and get ready.

I get to the gym at exactly 5pm, walk up to the door, and what... the door is locked! I think to myself, it's Saturday and they close at 9pm today. I look inside to the front desk and I see a sign that says on Valentines Day, they close at 5pm. Really? Seriously? Do they not think anyone would workout on Valentines Day? Do they think that everyone has a date tonight? Geez. I mean, aren't most of the people that workout at the gym on a regular basis single anyway? I'm a little bummed now. If I would have known, I would have gone earlier. Oh well! The good news is that I'm going out to laugh tonight! :) And so my running will just have to wait until tomorrow...

Training and nutrition

It's been a couple of days since my last post, so let me see...

Wednesday I did nothing. I was tired and didn't even want to go to yoga class, which is not even much of an effort. I didn't do a kettlebell workout either, even though I had scheduled Wednesday as one of my days to do kettlebell. Instead, I allowed myself to just go home from work and take a nap. Not ideal, but I was tired. So I let it be.

Thursday was a different story. It's our main TNT training day. I had been concerned that it might rain for our training as it had earlier in the day (we train rain or shine!), but it did not rain at all. I was happy about that because I cannot imagine it being comfortable at all to run in the rain. However, it was freezing! The saving grace when it's cold outside though, is that all one needs to do is run a lap or two and the cold is gone... a miracle, ha!

Since we got to the track early, I decided to walk/jog around the track a couple of times. Dana went once with me, but I went alone the second time. Seriously, I'd rather jog than stand there being cold! That did mean though, that I had gotten a half mile in before the training had even started. Yeah!

As training usually starts, we have to run two laps. So including my earlier laps, I was up to one mile very quickly. We then had announcements and warm up exercises/stretching before our real training began.

Here we go... the training for the day was intended to train us on our pacing. We were timed on a one lap, two laps, one lap, two laps, one lap (I think that order) with short recovery periods in between. The coaches explained to us that the way to set a good pace is to start off slow and finish strong. So as we went through the alternate lap distances, our times were supposed to start with slower times, and then end with faster times. Well, that is most likely the opposite of what people do as it makes sense to me that we would get more tired the more we ran, thus slowing our times down. But since I knew the objective was to do the opposite of that, I tried to pace myself accordingly. The first time around for a 1 lap, I finished at 2:30 minutes. Then, we did 2 laps, with my time being 5:16 (slower, wrong direction). The third time, which was a 1 lap, I did it in 2:16 minutes (faster, yeah!), but I practically killed myself on that one. I pushed myself really hard to get around the track that time and don't even know how I was able to do it. The next 2 lap time, I don't even know my time because the mentor who was keeping track didn't notice me coming in and by the time I got her attention to give me my time, she said she had turned her timer off. I was upset because I really wanted to know the time. But honestly, I walked some that time and know I didn't do well then. I was beat and it probably took me about 6 minutes that time. Then, they asked us if we had one more lap in us. I said no! But do you think they listened to me? So there I go one more time, with absolutely no energy left, and to be honest I don't even remember my time. I think it was like 2:45 minutes, pretty bad.

Well, ultimately I was unable to pace myself correctly. The good news is that I got a few miles in all together, but I have already run more than that at the gym before. So I was a bit disappointed in how hard that seemed to be.

Afterwards, we had a nutrition "class". Our coach's wife is a nutritionist and explained how important it is to have the proper nutrition in order to run. She said that your body simply doesn't have enough energy to do a run if you haven't fueled it properly. And I know I hadn't done that before I went. I only had a little Lean Cuisine meal a couple hours beforehand, which I don't think was enough.

So the food thing is still a big deal for me right now. I need to spend some time figuring out the proper food to eat, which has the best nutrition for running, while allowing me to lose weight as I train. I also need to practice eating in smaller portions more often throughout the day, as I mentioned in my last post, which was also backed up by what the nutritionist told us. So this is my project! Hopefully, this weekend I will find some time to plan and cook what's best for me going forward, because I surely don't want to keep running out of energy at only 3 miles!

Tonight, I'm thinking about running a bit at the gym. However, I plan to run with the kids in the morning. So we'll see if I will actually go tonight. I have just been feeling so tired lately. I know, it's the food!

Weight-loss frustration!

My goal was to lose 2 lbs over this past week. Two weeks ago I lost 3 lbs, then last week I gained .2 lbs (point 2) . My net total loss as of last week was 8 lbs. So although I gained a little last week, I still felt confident that I could lose this week given that the week before had been so good. I mean, I workout practically every day and am very careful about what I eat. So, a 2 lb loss for this week seemed very reasonable.

Tuesday's are our normal weigh in days. However, since the official Team in Training training has begun, the Buddy Runs are also on Tuesdays around the same time. I didn't put much thought into how that time conflict would work out, so earlier in the day I decided to log onto the Weight Watchers website to find out if there was another time during the day I could go weigh in. Well, there was one during lunch. I thought to myself that that was perfect, since I hadn't eaten lunch yet and felt as though I would be lighter than at 6pm!

Well, I gained another .2 lbs (point 2). Ughhhhh, how frustrating!! I couldn't believe it. Seriously, how did that happen? The lady at WW saw my frustration and simply said, "Well, I guess you just need to look over the past week of your eating." Oh yeah, that is a good idea... if I would have actually kept a log of what I ate like I am supposed to!

Honestly, I'm not making excuses, but if I think back to the week where I lost the most weight, I would have to say that I actually ate more during that week. As I mentioned previously, I am not a big eater. In fact, it is much easier for me to go for long periods of not eating rather than of eating. The more I eat, especially in small healthy quantities, the sooner I get hungry again. And I just don't like that feeling of always being hungry. If I don't eat as often, my hunger adjusts and I don't have that feeling of wanting to eat as often. But I know that is not the way to lose weight. And the week I lost the 3 lbs, I had been eating several small meals throughout the day. I'd have my oatmeal in the morning, awhile later eat a yogurt, then lunch, then a snack, etc. It seemed as though I was eating constantly.

I need to become more deliberate in my eating. I need to track what I eat and eat the WW Points or calories that I need to eat. Especially with the running, I need to be eating enough. While the Team in Training coaches say this is not the time to be on a diet, I think I should still be able to work it out--getting enough energy and nutrition while still losing weight. While it's going to take an extra amount of effort on my part to have a plan for my eating, I know I can do it!

Aside from the weight gain bummer, as I mentioned, today was our first Buddy Run with Team in Training. It's our mid-week option to go out with other TNT teammates for a run. Although I wasn't feeling it and wanted to pass for tonight, being a team with David and Dana helps a great deal as it pushes me through when I have days like this. I am very happy I went though. After a 2.5 mile run I was feeling much better. There was nothing I could do about today's weigh in other than to continue reminding myself to just stay on track.

So, while I have lots more to do in regards to my eating habits, I am still feeling positive about my journey. I know I will get there!

A short update

Yoga class - 1 hour. Dana is now in school on Monday's, so it's just David and I on these days.

Kettlebell - 20 minutes. I did a quick workout at home. My plan going forward is to practice kettlebell on Monday's and Wednesday's, in addition to Saturday's class. I'm liking my new muscles!

That's it, but I am feeling good! :)

The sports department

Over the years of my life, my shopping habits have changed several times. When I was younger, clothes and shoes were most important to me. The mall was my favorite place to be. When I owned my houses, the home improvement stores were then my favorite. Over the last couple of years, I would have to say that shopping at Target is probably the store I visit the most. My life is pretty simple these days and I find myself mainly buying the practical things for my day to day.

Now though, I am being introduced to a whole new shopping experience... in the sports department! I wouldn't think that training for a half marathon would require buying so much. As Dana said today, "running is free." So why am I coming up with all kinds of things to buy? Well, as I previously mentioned, my first purchase was a good pair of shoes. Obviously, those are important. Since then, I've realized I also need some new running clothes. But I haven't bought many of those yet. Today though, the kids and I went shopping for other necessities. We needed head lamps for our evening runs. Team in Training holds what they call Buddy Runs on Tuesday evenings. They are not required training, but a way for many of the teammates to informally get together for mid-week training. So, since we are planning on meeting up for the Buddy Runs, we were told that we would need head lamps in order to see at night. Ok. But then we also needed hats if we didn't want to look so silly with just the head lamps on our heads, ha! I'm not a hat person, so I needed to buy a hat. Ok, what else? Oh, well I hate when I begin to sweat during my runs and don't have any way to wipe my forehead. So I also needed wrist sweatbands. And... I needed a waistpack/waterbottle holder. Sooo many choices! But I did find one I liked.

Lastly, for today, I also wanted to get a sports watch to help with my pacing for my walk/runs. We looked at many of them, but couldn't decide on one. So that will be left for another day.

The list is not over, but that was how I spent much of my day--in several stores, in the sports departments! Although I spent more money than expected, it was sure a new experience for me, and I did have fun.

Later, I went to the gym to run a quick three miles on the treadmill. I laugh at myself for saying it was a quick three miles, but it was. I didn't take any major time out of my day for training, but as I went there, I knew I was doing something good for myself. All the years of doing nothing to stay in shape seems really lazy to me at the moment. Oh well, I'm doing something now and feeling good about it. This is all that matters!

Tired but motivated

I am exhausted. Since it's Saturday evening, I would really like to do something other than lay on my couch watching tv. However, I don't really have enough strength to do much of anything else at the moment. It's been a very busy couple of days, and so I just need to relax tonight :)

I was out late last night so it was really hard for me to get up early for our day 2 of Team in Training. We had to meet at Campbell Park at 8am. I picked up the kids at 7:30am and we all headed over to the park. It's actually a fun feeling to be part of something like TNT. When we got there, the big crowd of participants was already starting to gather. As we began, they first had everyone do the warm up/stretch routine. They then explained our options for today's running. We were to run on the trail that they had marked with a one mile and two mile turnaround points. So we had the option to run a total of two miles or four miles.

Although I would have liked to push myself to the four mile run, and while we could have run the four miles in an hour, Dana and I opted to run the two miles (David could run four miles faster than us.) We just wanted to make sure that we didn't take too long to run as David and Dana couldn't stay too late. They had their first cupcake fundraising bake sale and needed to get going so they could set up. And my excuse was since I drove them, I needed to leave too!

But it was fine. Although I just ran the two miles, I still had kettlebell class to go to afterwards. So I felt as though I was doing enough for the day.

After I dropped the kids back at their place I went to kettlebell class. I was worried my sister (my teacher) would ask if I had practiced kettlebell during the week. She had been training me a bit during the week over the past several weeks in addition to the Saturday class, but since I bought my own kettlebell, I can now do the mid-week workouts myself. But since last week I wasn't doing as much as I wanted to, I didn't get any kettlebell workouts in. And so, on my drive over to class today, I was trying to think of my excuse for when she would ask how I did this week! When I got there she was much too busy though, and so she didn't ask. Whew!

Anyway, class went very well. As I've mentioned before, it's only a half hour. But it's the best half hour workout I've ever had. I just love how good I feel in such a short time. Also, since I'm now in the beginning class rather than the intro class, I felt proud as the new people came in for their intro class right after mine. They just stood there watching what we were able to do. It felt good to feel a little bit more advanced--although I have no idea what the next stages will be like yet. Each week though, I learn more and get to do a more difficult swing routine. The progression is exciting to me.

After kettlebell class, I met up with the kids at their fundraiser. They were doing amazing! People kept going up to them wanting cupcakes, and if they stood around for any length of time, would then end up wanting to buy more. Everyone was so supportive and I was so happy for the kids that they were making good money. Now, I feel waaaaay behind. I haven't raised any money yet, and so I need to get on that soon. I have a couple ideas. I just need to spend some time developing them. Hopefully soon.

Tonight I'm simply exhausted. I took a several hour nap when I got home today. And although I feel better now, I'm still tired. So, I'll rest tonight and think about what I'd like to accomplish tomorrow. Sunday is supposed to be my rest day, but as of now, I'm motivated and feel like getting a bit more running in. So we'll see...

Here we go...

Last night was our first official Team in Training workout/run. Although I had been looking forward to it, as it drew closer to the time to go, I began getting nervous. I was wondering if I would have what it took to even be able to do the first training.

At the introduction meeting last month, the coaches had been very encouraging as they explained how they have trained many people who had never even run before. They tried to calm any worries for those who believed they needed to be in tip top shape before taking on this training. But of course, I was still a bit worried. While I have been training with the kids for a month now, and have seen tremendous improvement in what I have been able to do, I still had doubts about whether or not I could keep up with what was required for the TNT training.

Well, it was funny, as I picked up the kids so we could all go together to our first training, it seemed they had worries too. We laughed much of the way there as we described how we imagined how it could go for us. We worried about everything from being made fun of for the way we ran, to the clothes that we wore. While we all seemed genuinely worried, it was comforting to know that we were all feeling pretty much the same. However, we have been working hard for a month now. I just don't think we've given ourselves enough credit for what we've been able to accomplish so far.

As we got to the track and saw the variety of people, it suddenly seemed as though it was going to be ok. After meeting our mentors, the first thing they had us do was a warm up jog, twice around the track--a half mile. It was a piece of cake! Suddenly, all my fears seemed to subside. I can do this!

After several announcements, they had us do a group stretch/warm up routine. (I don't know why we didn't do that before the first jog, but it was fine.) The routine included the usual runner type lunges, but also included other exercises that were very similar to yoga poses. That was my favorite part. Taking yoga three times a week has actually really helped, and so I was really proud of myself for being able to do all they were asking us to do!

The next part of the training included a timed 30 minute walk/run--about 2 miles. The coaches/mentors know what they are doing. They encourage us to take things slow and gave us a choice to do either a 6 minute run/1 minute walk or a 4 minute run/1 minute walk. Since it was a timed run, not a distance run, I opted fot he 4/1. Run 4 minutes, walk 1 minute, run 4 minutes, walk 1 minute, etc. While I was pretty tired towards the end and did a bit more walking that I was supposed to, I was very proud of what I was able to do. I did not feel I was lacking in keeping up with other people at all! It felt great.

Afterwards, they encouraged us to go to dinner so we could socialize and get to know some of our other teammates. So we did. It was very nice to meet other people and hear their stories about why they are taking this on for themselves. It was also nice to eat out--as I haven't been doing that much since starting Weight Watchers. And it simply felt good to be a part of something fun.

Last night was simply a great night. The kids and I all seemed to have fun and are looking forward to our journey. There's much more to come, but it is nice to have had such a great beginning... our month of pre-training, and now, our official training. Here we go...

I've got a busy day, but no workout for today. I only work half day, then will be helping Dana with her cupcake baking for her fundraiser tomorrow, and then spending a social evening with friends. I need it and definitely deserve it! Tomorrow, I'm up early for training day 2! Until later...

Much better

Geez, my enthusiasm was sure less than desired over the past few days. I do get that way from time to time though. I get in a funk and then have to work my way out of it. The good news is that when I notice it, I immediately begin seeking ways to be happy again. I don't usually get down on myself for too long. Or if nothing else, I definitely make sure I don't get any worse. I know better :)

Anyway, just as I predicted, my weigh-in didn't go so well. Over the past week, I had eaten a couple of things that weren't exactly low fat, but for the most part did watch what I ate. However, as my week progressed I simply wasn't any feeling lighter. I usually most notice the difference in the morning, and so when I got up on Tuesday I could just tell. By the time I went to weigh in at 6pm, I was just hoping for no weight gain. Well, I did gain... but really, only a little. I gained .2 lbs. Since I was at a total loss of 8.2 lbs as of last week, I am still at an 8 lb loss now. So, while I was bummed I didn't lose any weight this past week, I realized I actually didn't do that bad. Rather, I simply maintained. In addition, since I had a good loss of 3 lbs last week I think I am still doing well. Losing 8 lbs in one month is definitely something to be proud of!

In the end, I decided not to go to yoga class or do any other workout on Tuesday. I simply wasn't feeling it. But by the time I went to sleep last night I decided to be done with the bad mood.

Today, I was back to feeling good. I watched my eating and went to yoga class with the kids. I am now really looking forward to tomorrow--our first official Team in Training workout. I'm thinking there's no real getting off track from here onward. But who knows, it's definitely possible I'll have days again like I've had recently. As of now though, I'm good. I am again feeling positive about what I'm doing and what I will be able to accomplish on this journey.

All is well!!

Still dealing with feelings

This must be part of the journey... to deal with various feelings as I go through all of this. Believe me, I realize it was my choice to do what I'm doing. So there's no right or wrong way to be each day. If I decide to take time to go out and play or become a couch potato for a bit, then I can. There's no should's or have to's. But since I've had such good momentum up to now and then let myself get distracted by other things that have taken me out of my zone, I feel bad. And I don't like that feeling. I want to feel good as I have up to now.

Yesterday (Monday) I only did yoga class because I made plans for afterwards that ended up falling through (that's why I feel bad today--feeling like I wasted time when I could have worked out more instead.) Now, tonight I'm only doing yoga again, because I have my Weight Watcher's weigh-in after class. Unfortunately, I'm also feeling less than confident with what the results will be. I simply feel I haven't done enough over the last few days.

So what to do? I think it's best to just pick myself back up today and get back on track. Whatever distracted me can simply move into the past so I can move forward again. Actually, I think that's good. That's what running does anyway... leaves everything in the past!

Hopefully, there will be more inspirational posts than posts like this one, but I am ok. I do realize this is a journey after all--with some better days than others. So on to more good days...

Being ok with less than

Although I felt a bit unaccomplished today and considered not posting anything, I'm reminding myself that this is Sunday after all. Sunday is supposed to be my rest day anyway, so if I don't have anything major to report it's fine. Right? I think I'm just being harder on myself than I need to be, because I really did enjoy my day.

This morning I picked up the kids so we could go for our weekly park run. As I previously mentioned, we usually do it on Saturday, but since they were out of town then, we postponed our run until this morning. Before we made it to the park though, we went to the first Team in Training clinic (information meeting). During this first meeting, we were able to learn about the best shoes, apparel, etc. needed for our training/marathon.

(This week, the official TNT training is beginning to get underway. For me, it's kind of bittersweet because I've really enjoyed just having our little team of David, Dana and I. Now, things are finally starting to get serious! It's ok, we did sign up for this after all!)

Anyway, I learned some valuable information about some of the things I'm going to need to buy for my running. I really need to get better running apparel. I'm such a cotton person, but cotton is apparently the worst thing to wear. It holds onto the sweat too much. The thing is though, I just don't like wearing lycra... or whatever the right material is that I need to buy (I guess I didn't listen that closely, huh!) But I'll figure something out. Fortunately, I already have the right shoes. That's most important anyway, so I'm good for now.

After our information meeting, David, Dana and I went to Campbell Park for our run. I'm not sure where our energy was, but we didn't really run much. I take that back, David always leaves us in the dust! But Dana and I only ran about .75 of a mile and walked the other 1.25 miles. So while it was a total of 2 miles, personally, I felt a bit less than accomplished. (Maybe since I was able to run up to the 6 miles on Friday? Ok, Donna, let it go. It was better than nothing and you did get a chance to chat with Dana after missing her while she was on vacation!)

The rest of the day I spent with my sister Christy. We're not Super Bowl people so went to the movies. She then came over my place to hang out and chat for awhile afterwards. It was nice.

Now, I'm just thinking about tomorrow and what I'd like to accomplish then. I think I'm going to try and just give myself permission to relax now and be ok with not having done more today. It's funny to me that I even need to manage my feelings about this working out thing, but I guess it means I'm still committed :) Until tomorrow...

"Only" kettlebell today

My kids have been on vacation, and so we were unable to run together this morning. I'm hoping we'll be able to run tomorrow, so I decided that today I'd only do my kettlebell class. I LOVE kettlebell class! It's just a half hour workout, but it's the most satisfying half hour workout I have ever had!

As I've mentioned, my sister Tracy is my teacher. She is a huge inspiration to me. Having lost more than 120lbs a few years ago, she has not only kept it off, but has become an amazing kettlebell teacher in the meantime. I've always looked up to my sister. She's smart, she's a fabulous cook (healthy food, too) and has a great style. And when she went from being more overweight than me, to about my weight, then to far surpassing my fitness, I was probably a bit intimidated by what she was able to accomplish. I didn't follow her lead, rather I just thought of her as the expert in weight loss and fitness.

Finally, when the new year came and I was coming up with ideas for what I wanted to do, I mentioned to Tracy that I was thinking of taking a kickboxing class. "Kickboxing, hah..." was how she responded. "Why don't you just take my intro to kettlebell class?" Well, that was my invitation and I went for it. Since then, I've taken her class every Saturday since the beginning of the year (5 weeks) and have become hooked. As I mentioned in my post a couple of days ago, I've also purchased my own kettlebell for home workouts.

Right now I'm only at the beginning (swinging) and I know there's much more to learn, so I am really looking forward my progression as I definitely plan on keeping this up for awhile!

So today, I had the best half hour workout ever. As I write this, I'm still waiting to cool down so I can take a shower. No other working out is needed for the day - only kettlebell. What a great feeling!

Again, hopefully I'll get a run in with the kids tomorrow. Ohhhh, and to update yesterday's post, I did run (with a little walking) the 6 miles on the treadmill last night. Just to put a period onto my goal setting point, as I was about to get on the treadmill last night I got a call from a friend I used to go out with from time to time. He called to say that he was in my neighborhood having a drink. I seriously considered blowing off the run to go see him, but I remembered my goal... I stayed at the gym and did what I set out for myself. I'm soooo proud :)

Goals

I'm not a big "goal" person. I don't usually make goals and then try to reach them. Rather, I would say I'm more of an "inspired" person. When I want to achieve something and I'm inspired, I simply head in that direction. While I have much to say about inspiration and why I believe it's one of the most essential things to living a great life (that's what I do in my coaching career anyway), this post is more about goals combined with inspiration and how I've come to understand how important setting goals are for this particular journey I'm on at the moment.

Last night at the gym I had set a goal for myself to run on the treadmill for 4 miles. I knew I could do it because I've done it a couple of times before. However, I had already taken a pilates class and didn't know if I'd have enough energy to do a run of that length. (As a reminder, I've only been running for a month so 4 miles is definitely an effort for me.) Anyway, I wasn't able to run the entire distance. However, I had a goal in mind. I set the expectation for myself and knew that I was going to make it, even if I had to walk some of it. And so, I did end up walking some.

During my walk/run I noticed another woman in the gym who was at one of the weight machines. She was sitting there, noticeably uninterested in what she was doing. As I watched her sit at the machine, she lazily did a couple of reps and then simply stopped, seemingly without a bit of energy. It was as though she was oblivious as to why she was at the gym at all. I have no judgment about the woman because maybe she was just there to hang out. It doesn't matter to me. But what it did remind me is that I've tried before to lose weight by working out and have been much less successful than I've been during this past month of intentional commitment. I've made a goal for myself, not only to just workout and lose weight, but I have also committed myself to completing a half marathon in about three months. There's no moving that date. There's no waiting to cram in my training until the last minute. I have to be ready. And since I've never been a runner, I have even more motivation to reach my goals. So each night when I'm working out, my goals help me push myself just that much more. And my feeling is that it's been a great help.

Tonight, I'm writing this post before I go to the gym. My goal is to run 6 miles tonight. I haven't attempted that before, but tonight I'm not doing any other workout other than the treadmill. So I'm committed to achieving the goal I'm setting for myself tonight.

This month's effort has shown me something important about myself. I've realized that I can do anything that I want to do. It's not so much that I have to work really, really hard. More so, I think that whenever I decide what it is that I want, set an intention, set the goal and work towards it, I can simply achieve it.

I will let you know tomorrow if I was able to do the 6 miles...

I don't have time for that...

Aside from the losing weight thing, another reason I decided to go on this journey was to refocus some of my time. Late last year I had some drama in my personal life. I handled it well, and while I am no means gun shy, I decided I really wanted to take a break from dating and any potential personal relationships to focus only on myself. It seems whenever I say I'm going to take a break though, inevitably someone new shows up in my life. Well, that has happened again, but with my new goals and my very full workout/training schedule, I don't really have any time that I want to devote to another person. So while it's always nice to get attention from a good guy, I am happy with keeping it in the background of my life for now.

As for all the other areas of my life, I have quite a few more goals that I wanted to work on for myself in the new year as well, such as financial goals as well as some focus regarding my career. But my current schedule simply doesn't allow for much more than what I'm already doing. Even my friendships have been quite neglected lately.

Then today, I found it humorous as I realized that my even job seems to be getting in the way of my working out! As it is, most days I leave work to go directly to workout, usually a yoga class or a kettlebell workout with my sister. I also like pilates class, but I don't get a chance to go as often because it's on Thursday's at 4:30pm. Either I cannot get there in time or my Women's Empowerment Group falls on that night (every other Thursday). But as my momentum for working out builds, I find myself wanting to do as much as I can.

Having arrived at work late today (because I stayed up doing laundry until 1am last night and was too tired to get up on time), I had planned on working later. But as the day progressed, I just kept thinking about going to pilates class. My boss was planning on leaving the office before 4pm, so I thought to myself that the moment he's out the door, I will leave as well. But he wasn't leaving and it was getting late. Finally, my desire to go to class got the best of me and I told him that I wanted to leave and go to pilates class. It was fine with him, but as I rushed out the door I just thought about how funny that now even my job seems to be interfering in my workout schedule!

Anyway, here's today's accomplishment... 1 hour pilates class and 1 hour on the treadmill for a walk/run of 4 miles. I'm satisfied!

So, while I would love to have more time to do many of the other things I am not currently doing, including working more (because I do enjoy it), I remind myself that I intentionally chose this path for myself for the moment. And while I suppose I'm soon going to have to find some time for the things that really cannot wait much longer, such as the groceries I need, the clean house I'd like to live in, the bills that need to get paid, and even a pedicure that I desperately want, I have to say that I am very much enjoying my life these days and happy to be working on becoming a better me!

Oh goodie, something new to buy

At a workshop I once attended, the speaker discussed how people get upset whenever something of theirs breaks or gets lost. I agree, the immediate reaction is usually negative. However, this speaker said that when something like that happens to her, she says, "Oh goodie, something new to buy!" Well, that's definitely a different and positive perspective!

Although I'm just as typical as most by having a negative response to something of mine that breaks or gets lost, I do always recall what that speaker had said and try to look at it from that positive perspective as well.

On Monday, as I was getting out of my car to go to yoga class and went to grab for my yoga mat, I was oddly surprised at how it wasn't there. Hmmm? Where was my mat? It was a weird feeling actually, because the mat only goes from my car to class and from class to my car. I don't take it out of my car. I have a big car, but really, it had to be either next to me or in the back seat. And it wasn't. Weird.

Fortunately, I had my pilates mat in the car as well. And since I needed to get to class, although the mat is not ideal (it's about 5x thicker), I used it anyway. When I got to class I scanned the extra mats that the gym has for people who don't bring their own, thinking maybe I simply forgot my mat last time I left. But I only saw blue and purple mats. My mat was bright green, so it obviously wasn't there. After class, I asked the guy at the front desk if there was a lost and found. He showed me what was there and no green mat there either. Really, what had happened to my mat?

Tuesday, I again used my pilates mat for yoga class. It's actually a bit dangerous to use that mat for yoga as I almost slipped a couple of times. So, although I usually go to my sisters for a kettlebell workout on Wednesday's after work, I decided instead to buy a new yoga mat before class tonight. So off to Target I go...

While at Target, my sister called to ask why I hadn't shown up at her house. It was a misunderstanding because I didn't realize she expected me since we hadn't confirmed this week. But she was ok with it and agreed that it would be a good idea if I bought a kettlebell also, since I was already at the store getting a mat. Great idea!

So leaving Target I felt really happy! I had wanted a new yoga mat for awhile. Mine is about 5 years old anyway, and whenever I see people with one of the new cool colored mats, I want to buy one. However, nothing was wrong with mine and I couldn't justify to myself spending the money on another one. Now though, having lost mine, I was able to get a brand new one! I was also able to buy my very own kettlebell. I was excited!

When I got home I was able to get in a 20 minute kettlebell workout. Not much more is needed to build up a good sweat. Then I was off to yoga with my new mat. As I walked into class, the class before mine was heading out. And what do I see??? I see a woman putting a bright green mat in with the blue and purple ones. My mat! Although I don't know how I could have forgotten it, the mystery seemed solved. I must have left it in class last Wednesday.

Well, although I know it's ridiculous, I didn't have a very peaceful yoga class, thinking about that stupid mat all during class. A lady, who was right next to me, and who was there for her very first time tonight, was using the (my) green mat. I was frustrated with myself for even thinking about it, but I couldn't seem to help myself! Even though I had a brand new mat and don't really need two, after realizing that my distraction was getting the best of me and would probably notice that mat every time I went to class, I decided to just take my mat back. So, at the end of class, I walked out with two mats... one brand new one and one used by other people that I now really need to clean!

Uhhh, what was the point of this story? Oh yeah, to remember how fun it was to buy something new. Oh goodie! Ha!

Lastly, real quick, I also ran 2.5 miles on the treadmill after class tonight. So my workout time today totaled two hours--kettlebell workout, yoga class and running. I know, that is the real point of this blog, but that would have only been a few lines anyway. Even so, sorry for getting off track with my crazy story. I just write about what's on my mind! I promise to get back to more of my workout progress tomorrow. Maybe :)

The Biggest Loser night

While I had already decided around Christmastime to join Weight Watchers in the new year, I hadn't yet realized all the inspiration that would help me stay motivated. As I've been mentioning, my kids are a big inspiration to me. But it was on New Years Day when I actually had one of my first biggest boosts of inspiration. On tv... The Biggest Loser marathon. I had been aware of the show and had caught parts of it here and there, but I had never really watched an entire episode, much less a season. However, just having joined Weight Watchers (actually a few days before the beginning of the year) the show marathon caught my attention. So I watched the show (rather, many shows) for the very first time. I was hooked, simply blown away by the transformation of those people!

Fortunately, I don't have nearly as much weight to lose as most of the people on that show, but to see them so fit and trim and the end of the seasons was just amazing to me. If I hadn't seen how they looked at the beginning of the seasons, I would have never guessed they had ever been overweight. I was truly inspired and even more ready to begin my journey!

Since then, I've made a point to watch the newest season of The Biggest Loser every week. It happens to come on Tuesday nights, right after I go to Weight Watchers for my weekly weigh-in and meeting. So it's perfect, making this is one of my favorite nights of my week!

As for my own progress, today was a good one! I had yoga class, as usual. With a little time in-between the end of the class and before Weight Watchers I got a chance to walk a mile on the treadmill. It's somewhat insignificant compared to what I need to do, but I got a chance to chat with Dana (who was on the treadmill next to me) and so I had a good time :) Then we went to get weighed in. Wow, this is my best week yet! I've been losing each week, but this week I lost 3 lbs, making my total-to-date a loss of 8.2 lbs! I am soooo excited! While I still have a way to go, I am proud of the progress I've already made. In the beginning, my goals seemed to be so far away, but in just a short time the progress feels so good. I'm happy :)

On the other hand, I am really going to miss the rest of my team over the next few days. David and Dana are taking a mini-vacation and won't be back until late Saturday. So, I'm on my own for a bit, and will hopefully get to run with them on Sunday. I definitely look forward to then!

Well, since it's The Biggest Loser night, and I've done my part for the day/week, it's time to get back to the show... Later!

Easing back into the week

My back was still slightly sore from Saturday's kettlebell class, so I decided to take it easy today. My upcoming Team in Training running coach (who I happened to meet when buying my running shoes) had said that people often get excited when training for marathon's, tend to work too hard right away, and then sometimes hurt themselves. He also said that he actually preferred for people to wait to begin training until the official training starts at the beginning of February. But, my "team" is probably typical, getting excited and wanting to train hard now.

However, I am keeping in mind what the coach said. So, with my back still a bit sore, I decided not to run today. Instead I simply went to yoga class (missed Dana :( because she had an evening meeting at her work, but David was there.)

Personally, I was happy to have our regular Monday yoga teacher back from her yoga retreat. Although she's not the favorite of the two teachers we have, the substitute we've had for the last three Monday's was definitely not ideal for me. So, in addition to appreciating this teacher's return, I was also happy that she came back with new poses for us to do. None of them bothered my back at all and the class seemed to fly by, since I had to pay such close attention to what we needed to do. It was not only nice to mix-it-up, it was much better for me to have the easier flow today as our Tuesday/Wednesday yoga teacher usually kicks our butts!

After yoga class was over I felt pretty good. As I said, I didn't want to run, but did decide to walk on the treadmill for awhile, just to get some miles in. So I walked an easy two miles. I then came home and had some soup.

Tonight I feel really good. I'm not feeling any pain and thinking I will be good for tomorrow's more intense yoga class. I won't be running tomorrow either, because we have our Weight Watchers weigh-in and meeting after class. Fingers crossed, my weight will be down a little :) Until later...

Sunday is rest day

Although this blog is new, I've actually been working on my resolutions for nearly four weeks now. At the intro meeting for Team in Training, they emphasized the importance of taking one day off a week for rest. So far, my team (David, Dana and I) have found that Sunday is the best day for rest.

However, we weren't planning on resting on this Sunday. We missed our usual Saturday morning run yesterday and decided to reschedule it for today. But that won't be happening after all. My body is screaming in all sorts of ways and so I have decided to stick with my rest day. There's always tomorrow!

I think I abused my body a bit too much yesterday. First, I progressed to a heavier weight in kettlebell class. A kettlebell is swung, so if I don't tighten my butt as I swing, there's a lot of pressure on my lower back. I already began feeling the pain in my lower back yesterday, and today it's not much better. So I need to rest my back right now. In addition, before going to the movies with my friend Charlene last night, we went out for dinner at PF Chang's. It was very good. However, since I have been eating milder and healthier food over the last four weeks, my stomach did not appreciate the richness of that dinner! I slept so uncomfortably and am still feeling the effects of it today. Back to eating better today!!

So, although I wanted to skip rest day, I think it's better to just stick with it. I can relax, watch tv and blog more about what I'm doing. It's all good!

Ok, so I wanted to explain about my team and the half marathon...

David and Dana have already been blogging about their experience and are further ahead of me in regards to their fundraising pages and fundraising ideas needed in order to help raise their share needed to be part of Team in Training. I have been training as long as they have, but joined TNT later, so I am only at the beginning stages of what I need to do for the organization. I'm proud of their excitement as it definitely helps keep me motivated, so it won't be much longer until I'm up to speed as well.

As for my version of how we got ourselves into this (you can read their versions on their blogs), I had about as much interest in running a marathon as I do in skydiving. Um, that would be none! But as 2008 was ending and I began thinking about the weight loss, learning a new sport, and all the other resolutions I wanted to accomplish, I continued to hear the Team in Training commercials on the radio. As I said, I wasn't interested, but there's the power of repeated commercials, you know. Anyway, David, Dana and I had already decided to go to Weight Watchers together as well as take yoga classes three times a week. So we were already spending a lot of time together discussing our physical goals. Although I don't recall exactly why I brought this up, I mentioned to Dana about the marathon in Hawaii that I had heard about on the radio. She was immediately interested. I thought to myself, yeah, that's nice, but Hawaii is for a vacation. No marathon for me!

Within the next day or two Dana had looked up the information online. She called to let me know that the marathon in Hawaii is a tri-athalon (uh, definitely no way!), but that there is a half marathon on May 3rd (also Dana's 23rd birthday) in Humbolt County. She said that she wanted to do it and told me about the info meeting that was being held that very evening. Suddenly a half marathon seemed doable. I don't know why. I don't run. But 13.1 miles simply seemed possible. So the three of us went to the meeting.

The organizers do a good job of inspiring you to join. They explain how they even train people for marathon's who had never run before in their lives. And as for the fundraising, $2,400 needed for our particular half marathon, they help with many ideas and support. They also discussed the true purpose for raising that money and how valuable it is for the patients of Leukemia and Lymphoma. So it's for a very good cause.

Well, suddenly there was no question once the meeting was over that the three of us would join.

Since then, our journey for training for this half marathon began...

The three of us are now a team, taking yoga three times a week, going to Weight Watchers every Tuesday, and running a little more each day (with Saturday mornings the day we run out at the park). Separately, I've been doing kettlebell training as well as a pilates class. David and Dana ride their bikes for their extra training. Overall, we're doing quite well. We're seeing the progress, especially since the first day we tried to run, Dana and I couldn't even run a mile! Now we're up to more than 4 miles!

The official TNT training starts in a couple of weeks, but we've gotten a head start and that gives me much more optimism that we can do this.

So rest is on the schedule for today, then back to yoga and running tomorrow. More to come...

Tired of black every day!

This is the picture that did it - the one that broke the camel's back! My friend Michelle was doing something sweet when she posted a picture she had taken of me and her boyfriend Brandon. The only thing is that she posted it directly to my facebook wall. Nice... a picture I could not crop before it was out there for the world to see!

While I deleted the picture from my wall, I did not delete it from my profile. Instead, I kept it there - for inspiration!

I have been overweight much of my adult life - anywhere from 20 lbs to as much as 45 lbs at one time. I've lost a significant amount of it a couple of times, only to gain it back again and then some. I'm not even a big eater actually. I simply have bad eating habits. I'm lazy, usually eating one meal a day and then having sweets to make it through the rest of the day. I'm not a good cook and rarely plan what to eat, so it's always just been more convenient for me to get something quickly whenever I'm hungry.

As for exercising, I've been much better over the last couple of years than I had ever been in my life before then. Aside from the times I made the effort to lose weight, I never exercised. But having joined a gym a couple of years ago, I'm proud to say that I go fairly often. And if I take a break from the gym for a bit, I make sure to go for long walks. I don't enjoy exercising, but I do make much more effort these days to do it.

However, exercising alone has not kept me from gaining back some weight over the last couple of years. Of course, I could tell I was gaining - my clothes were getting tighter and whenever I did see a picture of myself, if I couldn't crop it, I wouldn't even dream of putting in online. (Cannot stop those friends from doing it though, ha!) Then eventually, my other solution for staying in denial about my weight became wearing black nearly every day. I know I looked cool, but really, every day? If for some reason I actually did wear a color, I would simply cover it up with a black sweater. Even for the warmer days, I have a black lightweight cardigan with short sleeves.

Now though, at this weight, the black tops don't even help hide anything anymore, as proven by the picture above. At the beginning of this year, I realized that I would need to lose about 35 lbs. These days, with so many people overweight, I may even look fairly average. However, whenever I see someone fit, I think to myself, I could look that way if I want. So why don't I? Finally, I realized I have a choice - to accept being overweight or to do something about it.

Well, I'm 42 years old now, and feel really good about who I am as a person. I've worked hard at becoming happy and living a life that I love. Now though, it's time to do something about how I look and feel about myself physically!

While making my resolutions for this new year, I decided to be intentional about what I would do. I joined Weight Watchers as a way to learn how to eat, started taking yoga classes on a regular basis (because I enjoy it), began learning kettlebell (my sister Tracy offered to teach me) and joined the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team in Training in order to run a half marathon! Yes, a half marathon!! This is whole other story in itself, and so I will explain more in my next post.

For now, I simply wanted to share one of the reasons (I really have about three reasons) for this next journey of mine. My kids, my daughter Dana and son-in-law David are a big part of much of what I'm doing. I'll share more about our "team" later as well. In the meantime, I'm already feeling much better (lost 5.2 lbs in three weeks), very optimistic about my year, and grateful to already be having those mornings when I'm getting dressed and considering wearing something other than black... well, considering!!

p.s. There's no guarantee that I won't gain back what I'm working on losing right now, but today is all that matters. Whenever I'm working on becoming a better me, I feel good. So thankfully, I am feeling great today!